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1.07.2013

Creating and Styling a New Me - My Style Evolution


If you remember last year, we started a little series on our blog called "Tell Me More." Basically, these posts revolve around frequently asked questions that we get, either from our blog, Facebook or Instagram... that aren't necessarily connected with anything having to do with Home DIY.

 I keep getting asked tons of questions about beauty, skincare and my overall evolved style this past year, so I thought I'd address them this week; starting with a little back story and this post.

As I've been going on this roller coaster ride of "finding my true self" this past while, I've also realized that I'm going through a bit of an identity crisis. That might sound a little strange, but making changes like losing weight and shifting your ideas of what you think about yourself, can make you feel like you're sort of playing a personal game of lost and found.
 What I CAN wear now, from clothing and hairstyles, all the way down to different kinds of makeup, has totally changed from what I used to be limited to before.
Lots of it is a result of my new size and shape, but most of it has to do with the fact that I've built up a lot more confidence in knowing who I am and working hard on trying to just be Awesomer!

Remember last year when wearing bright lipstick was scary for me and I even considered it a "risk"?

Well I'm happy to report that after a whole year, I don't even think TWICE now about what shade of pink, red, purple, green or blue goes on these kissers! (okay, I don't wear green or blue lipstick, but you get my point.) Overcoming those personal limitations that we set up for ourselves when trying to make big changes in our life, is HARD... and it doesn't just happen over night. 

About a year and a half ago I met a friend who helped me change a LOT about what I "thought" I knew about myself and my personal style. I talked a little on this topic in my "Cute Plus Size Clothing Options" post.  But it wasn't until about 8 months ago, that I finally relinquished control of those "limitations" that I put on myself and ultimately hired Becki to show me how great I could REALLY look and feel.

As a friend, no matter what you do for a living, whether it's being a doctor, hairstylist, lawyer, stay-at-home-mom, decorator, etc... I think we all try hard to not push our "professional opinions" into our relationships with others (even if we definitely have them); unless they ask. And even then, most of us tend to give advice in a  more general, helpful, tender way, so as not to hurt or offend that friend.
Am I right?

Well, Becki was amazing, and did just that. Offered some helpful advice and pointed out a few things that she thought I could improve on... and guess what?
I cried.
Yup. Tears and all.
To this day I joke about it with her, because no matter how much I reassure her (as one of my best friends), I think there's still a little part of her that feels like she hurt my feelings. haha! Although, in ALL honesty, I only cried because I felt SO exposed!
Who knew that mauve lipstick wasn't necessarily the best color for me, or that wearing greens made me look washed out!?!? I SURE DIDN'T! For 27+ years I'd been trying SO hard to LOOK confident when I felt my most insecure and now I actually FELT a lot more confident and secure, but didn't know how to LOOK the part! 
AHHHH!
have I lost you?
identity crisis... remember?

I'd been telling my sister, friends and husband for years that I always felt like a much slimmer, stylish girl locked in a huge, limited, fat-girl body... but then when it really came down to it, I didn't know WHAT I wanted my more slimmer, stylish ME to actually LOOK and dress like!

And that's where Becki from Whippy Cake came in.

During a few one-on-one styling sessions she told me what would look best on me, in her professional opinion and then challenged me to try new things, even if they felt a bit uncomfortable. Pink lipstick shades instead of browns, gold accessories in place of silver and a shorter hairstyle to elongate my neck, in place of my confused mid-length bob.

Once I was pointed in the right direction I was off to explore this new found territory on my own.
I started to get brave... and sometimes things got a little TOO wild, and it was scary...
you just never know until you try, right?
:)

Pretty quickly, and through a LOT of trial and error I realized what worked for me and what didn't.

But guess what? I had to face the reality that I wasn't who I USED to be anymore, body OR spirit, and that meant that the way I was going to carry myself "style-wise" was probably going to have to change too!

Now I find myself in dressing rooms or at stores picking out clothes, saying to myself (sometimes out loud) "Would the OLD Shelley wear this, or the NEW one? Would Becki pick this for me? Am I pushing myself out of my comfort zone enough?"
 Excuse the language, but I have worked my ASS off (literally), trying to achieve a better me, inside and out and finding a new style that I felt fit that new person, although a LOT more fun, has been JUST as challenging and time consuming!

SO, to answer the bulk of your very specific questions on a few 'style' topics, I've broken them down into three posts. This, being the first one (an overview on how I evolved in my style) and then 2 others this week that will address the following:
and 

As I mentioned before, I've already shared my thoughts in a previous post on clothing fashion,

Don't worry, in no way, shape or form do I think I really know much of anything about giving personal fashion or style advice to others haha! Please know that these posts are just a look at what works for ME personally, how I do things and what products I have come to love, as I strive to be an Awesomer me! You never know, maybe a few techniques or products will work well for YOU too!?

So bear with me you Home DIY junkies, while this week we explore the world of creating your best SELF!

... to be continued.

122 comments:

  1. Hi Shelley-
    You are so pretty - model like - YES!!!! and a wonderful inspiration to us all - no matter what we are trying to achieve. You show us it can be done - BEAUTIFULLY!

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  2. Yay! Excited for the next installments!

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  3. Thank you for sharing your transformation! You are adorable and it's very motivating to see your change. Love your blog - even when it's not DIY!

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  4. This series TOTALLY excites me. As an always-bigger girl, I've struggled my whole life to find my fashion identity. Somehow, my mind is always dressing my "ideal body," and I never seem to get around to accessorizing the body I HAVE. This struggle has intensified as I, like you, make my way toward a healthier me. Thanks for being transparent. You encourage me.

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  5. you look very pretty! amazing transformation

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  6. Shelley, I was just looking at a photo of everyone in Az. a couple of years ago...I hadn't realized just how much you changed. You've always looked great, but you really went from a young style to such a hip sophisticated you. Love your guts!

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  7. Thanks for sharing! You look amazing, keep growing, it helps us all. :)

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  8. Growing as in changing... :)

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  9. I think you are the cutest thing and have such a fun personality!! You are one of those gals that I would just love to know in person! I love every one of your posts whether it's diy or personal. Keep up the good work!! You are amazing!!!

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  10. You are beyond gorgeous!!! And...an amazing inspiration for all of us trying to implement change in our own lives. Blessings to you! XO

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  11. WOW...just WOW - you look amazing!!!!!

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  12. You are so beautiful!!i love everything about you! I too have been through a year of finding myself and I admire you that you aren't afraid of putting it out there and inspiring and helping others. I am not at that point yet and honestly don't know how to get there but I hope to tell my story! :)

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  13. Wow! The photo from 2010 to now really shows how far you have come. Congrats! I now it was a lot of work. Wish I could get myself together and loss some weight.

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  14. Love this Shelley! About two years ago I did an online fashion session and it has totally changed the way I look and shop for clothes. I still struggle a bit but now I know what kinds of clothes to look for that work for my body type. I love Whippy Cake and can't wait to see what she has in store for the new year!!

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  15. I feel compelled to comment on this post and tell you how much I identify with this topic. I commend you for taking risks and stepping into a happier you. All of your hard work is paying off, you look simply amazing. Your new style seems to fit your personality perfectly. I love it! I love it!

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  16. I'm so proud and happy for you. You have worked so hard and it definitely shows! You look great!

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  17. Shelley you are gorgeous!

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  18. Your the cutest! Can't wait to read this week's posts!

    Your an inspiration for sure!!!

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  19. I'm gonna love these posts. I could use a friend like Becki for help in the style department. You look lovely. Good luck on your journey to becoming awesomer.

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  20. I've never commented before but just had to say thank you for sharing yourself with us. Oh so many of us are in our own personal search (for style, identity, becoming better...) so a genuine thank you for being so real.

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  21. You look great! Thanks for your honesty!

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  22. WOW!!!!! You look awesome! Congratulations...what an inpiration you are. Gorgeous you, and half the size you were before...you look younger, too! Yay!

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  23. I would SO love to hire Becki, too! I think you look fantastic -- I didn't "know" you 2 years ago but I think your vibrant, sunny personality comes through your appearance very, very well. Your hair is sassy, your clothes and sweet and fun, and your accessories just rock. I think she did an amazing job with you!

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  24. YOU LOOK AMAZING!!!

    I love love love the photo of you in the yellow jacket!!! You look totally awesome in it and HOT!LOL

    Reading about your changes has made me think about the changes I want to do this year and one is about people I have around me as well as the weight loss!
    I really liked how you wrote about what you admired in other woman and then looked within to become those qualities you admire (brief overview I know)
    But I just wanted to say - thank you for the inspiration!

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  25. Shelley! I just love your blog and I feel sometimes that your posts are just for me! Thanks for posting this and I look forward to the others this week. Thanks for being real and being someone I can relate to!

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  26. Awesome post Shelley! You're such an inspiration - I'm beginning my own transformation (finally I know) and I think I need to revisit your fashion posts as I go.

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  27. congratulations on the weight loss, you look fantastic!!

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  28. It's been fun to catch glimpses of your changes this past year. You were beautiful before and certainly look amazing now. Good luck on your continued journey.

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  29. Thank you for the insight! I appreciate your candid-ness!!

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  30. Thank you for the insight! I appreciate your candid-ness!!

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  31. you look great ! Im so happy for you !

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  32. What a great post! I am so glad that I am not the only person who has had the identity crisis. I got married and pregnant with my first munchkin before 21, so now at 27, I am out of maternity clothes trying to figure out what "womanhood" looks like for me. From the looks of things, you have it figured out. That gives me hope that I may be able to find myself too.

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  33. Wow. I am jealous. You look so happy! Link me to your diet plan!
    -Trish

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  34. Incredible. I am always just so incredibly impressed and happy about people making positive changes and sharing it! It is inspiring and happy and amazing and I am so happy for you! You are gorgeous and your style is to die for, fresh and upbeat. I love visiting The House of Smiths :)

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  35. Wow! You look AMAZING! I can't put it into words - your confidence is just shining through in all of your 2012 pictures. Congratulations!

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  36. I think you have a remarkable style and that you are completely awesome ;-) We can all use fresh starts and now you have me wondering about a new hairstyle for the new year....hmmm...I can't wait to see your next two posts!

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  37. I am fairly new to your blog and I absolutely love it! Your honesty is so refreshing and sincere. Has anyone ever told you that you could be Reese Witherspoon's sister? Thank you so much for sharing.

    -Katie (www.thoughtfulology.blogspot.com)

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  38. I've been following for a while, and I don't comment a lot, but I must say, you look ahhhhmazing (not that you didn't before). But even more so, I am so happy for you and your inner transformation! Stay beautiful (:

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  39. I just have to tell you, you are ADORABLE! and even though i don't really know you, from I can tell from your posts, you are adorable on the inside too;)!

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  40. Wow you look fabulous! Thanks for sharing.

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  41. You're a great inspiration! I love your blog and admire how positive you are... thanks for all the inspiration :)

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  42. I can't wait for the next posts in this series!

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  43. I love your blog. You have GREAT personal style... for your home and your wardrobe!

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  44. Love it. You look amazing!

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  45. You are totally adorbs and I love each and every one of your posts. You are such an inspiration to me as I strive to lose this extra 50 pounds this year. All I want for Christmas in 2013 is YOUR jaw line! :)

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  46. Can't wait to read the rest. You look fabulous.

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  47. I love it when you do these posts! You always look SO cute and put together - I often hope a little bit of your awsomeness will virtually rub off on me!

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  48. You have truly been an inspiration to me. After following you for the past year and many times was excited for you when you achieved a goal like when you completed the 5K. I recently completed nursing school and promised myself to take care of me when I was done. I have been going to the gym, trying to eat well and working on being happy with me. I have a wonderful support team consisting of my daughter, husband, and friends. I know that it will take more than me to continue on this journey and that I need that constructive criticism every once in a while. Thanks again for your inspiration. Continue on!

    Jessica

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  49. I really think you are AWESOME! and so cute.

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  50. Seriously your style is FAB! I need her to come help me! I need someone to tell me what to wear.

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  51. Wow! Yellow is definitely your color! Love that coat on you! Where did you get it?

    stephanie@metropolitanmama.net

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  52. Check into Dresssing Your Truth .com based in Lehi . It's really a great program

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  53. You look AMAZING in that yellow jacket! And all the turquoise in the jewelry really suits you.

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  54. I'm on a similar journey of my own this year and really love reading about yours. You are darling!

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  55. Hey Shelley,
    after reading your blog for some time now I'm finally going to say hi now. :)
    After loosing about 70lbs last year I agree so much with you on most points and I know what you're talking about clothes shopping, confidence, comfort zone and stuff like that.
    Just wanted to tell you that you did a great job and look fabulous and I really like your new style!

    Greetings from Germany,
    Fabienne

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  56. LOVE this, dear sweet Shelley;) I've had a personal identity crises as well as I've lost weight and still can't believe I'm able to wear the size that I'm wearing, but it feels SO good. I have loved all of your pretty accessories in your pic shares--I have always LOVED bold, but only recently do I feel it's ok for me to do it.

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  57. what a great post! you look fabulous!

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  58. You're so amazing and beautiful!!! I'm glad you're finding your style, because you truly are gorgeous!

    I've just started my journey to be awesomer, and so far so good (but seriously, I've been on it for less than two weeks!). You're such an inspiration!! I'll be on here every day to read your blog and to pump myself up!!!

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  59. Oh Shelley-I think you are so fantastic, and I'm so happy for the newer, happier, more awesome YOU! I think you look FAN-freakin-TASTIC and I appreciate you sharing your transformation with us. I think each one of us at some point in our lives goes through the 'who am I' search and maybe it's really an ongoing thing that we all struggle with on an off through life. I too have felt more confident recently and have subsequently been taking more risks, realizing that I can just be me.
    Thanks again for such an awesome blog. I love seeing your DIY stuff, and also enjoy learning more about you and your fabulous self. Looking forward to the next post. xo

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  60. You are just so beautiful. Stunning on the outside and stunning on the inside. You are a true beauty and your honesty and your journey make you amazing and divine. Thank you I look forward to part 2 and 3. xx

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  61. I have stalked your blog for the past year, and i love your DIY. I also love your other posts and i just want to say i think your doing an awesomer job! You have achieved so much.

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  62. You look amazing! The picture of you in the yellow peacoat is exactly what I would imagine you to dress like based on your home decor. It fits your style perfectly!

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  63. Shelley- THank you so much for sharing! You are such a beautiful person on the inside and out and your new style is fabulous! You rock it so incredibly well!

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  64. Love your blog and love watching your transformation...all these style posts are great..and I NEVER knew Halftees existed! So excited to order a few!

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  65. Great Ideas! I went off and checked out every one of the links in this post and had so much fun reading it all! Congratulations on your identity journey and thank you for sharing it with us. Maybe there are more possibilities out there than I have found in the past...

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  66. Acho admirável o resultado que você vem conseguindo, e também muito inspirador. Obrigada por compartilhar suas experiências!
    Beijos

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  67. Love this! I'm in the process of losing weight, so far 15lbs and now just about left 30lbs to go. Its so hard stepping out of my comfort zone to try new styles but I really hate my current "fat me" style and most of my clothes don't even fit right anymore so they look even worse than when they did lol. Thanks for the insight, I haven't been following this blog that long (I think about a year now) and its hard to remember that not everyone always looked as fabulous as they do now... and you look amazing and confident! Hoping to get to that myself soon!!!

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  68. You have the most beautiful skin! I'm so anxious to read your post on skincare! I love the home DIY thing as well and blog about it myself, but always love a good topic detour - and beauty/fashion is always a fun one!

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  69. Loved this post and Im excited to read your upcoming as well. You look beautiful! Be VERY proud of yourself!! Cason better watch out!! lol

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  70. I love this so much. You are so beautiful and I am so proud of you. As a fellow 'plus-size shopper' I REALLY appreciate the tips you have shared! I look forward to hearing more.

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  71. Shelley, you are such a true inspiration! Last year I tried to make changes to create a healthier me. I was only 11 lbs successful. That's a start atleast! I have a long way to go but this year there's going to be more risk involved!

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  72. You're totally gonna crack up, but...I LOVE the animal print skinnies! I think that outfit would be so cute with some bright red flats and a big chunky necklace. But that's just me.. I know that everyone has to be comfortable in their own outfit. I know they aren't as figure flattering as a dark wash but they are just so fun that I think it's okay to break some of the 'rules' sometimes...And by the way, I didn't realize just how much weight you've lost until I saw the 2011-2012 difference! I knew you were losing weight but it's just so apparent in the side-by-side...You look amazeballs!

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  73. Wow, how lucky are you to have your own personal coach?!!! I have never felt comfortable in my own skin. What I wouldn't do to have a wonderful friend like yours be so completely honest with you and give pointers to boot! BTW, you look gorgeous!

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  74. You look wonderful! All your hard work is paying off!

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  75. This is great Shelley :) I know I have a lot to learn about myself. And you know, I think I've always had a bit of a complex about being so tiny--I mean really, like I'm a short person and have just let myself get lost sometimes :) Looking forward to everything you'll share this week, and I just have to throw in there, that I love how your same radiant smile has always been there!

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  76. You look AMAZING! I am in the beginning stages of my own weight loss journey & love hearing your story. Where did you get the fitted skinny ankle boot jeans pictured above?

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  77. You are really a beautiful lady! SUCH a beautiful smile... every time I see a pic of you I can't help but smile too.

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  78. Oh my goodness, Shelley! You look amazing! I am so proud of you, girl. I think it's time for me to get a style session with our sweet friend, Becki. xoxo

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  79. You are just precious! I love the outfit with the yellow jacket.

    I recently stepped out of my comfort zone, big time - Being a short, chubby girl I never thought I could wear skinnies. But....I recently tried some on, and as long as they are styled correctly, I CAN wear them! I now have three pair that I practically live in - Cobalt blue, red and fuschia. Wearing my red skinnies with my leopard print shoes just makes me happy. And who doesn't absolutely love cobalt blue?? It's a color that looks fabulous on just about everyone.

    I'm so glad I found your blog. You inspire me in so many ways. Thank you!

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  80. Shelley, Congratulations on all of your hard work and success. I love your blog for the wonderful home ideas, but to now hear a little about your personal success is great. Share on and be proud of yourself.

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  81. I absolutely love you and all of your genuine ability to share yourself with us! Such a beautiful woman, inside and out! Congratulations on all of your hard work...I look forward to seeing all you do in 2012!
    Much love,
    Virginia @ LiveLoveDIY

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  82. Love you! Your an amazing woman, and you look great! I Loooove the yellow coat you are wearing!

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  83. Looking forward to hearing more!!
    http://jkscl.blogspot.com/

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  84. You are a beautiful girl, both Before & After! Love the pics of your transformation! Congrats!!

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  85. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. Seriously, Shelley, I've been reading the HOS for a while now (years?!) and I cannot even begin to tell you the change I *see* in you. Now, more than ever, it's more fun to come check out what the Smith's are up to. The confidence & excitement you exude from your pictures and posts is a true breath of fresh air. You are already awesomer - truly. And Cason must be in hog heaven... It's as if you JUMPED out of your chair, KICKED it back against the wall and PUFFED out your chest when someone asked "Will the REAL Slim Shelley please stand up!?!"

    Too much? (especially with the Eminem reference) lol… I am just excited for you - and for us readers who get to witness it all!

    Thank you for sharing!

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    Replies
    1. LOL.... I can't speak for Shelly (duh) but that Eminem reference cracked me up!

      anyway, way to go Shelly, you're inspiring many just by being you and seeking improvement, to God be the glory. :)

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  86. It's fantastic that you've come to this point in your life and have someone who can point you in the right direction. I think lots of us women try so hard and can't figure out what we're doing wrong. I've been on this evolving roller coaster that started with the birth of my daughter in 2011 and now I'm pregnant with baby #2. I have little idea where I'm going with my style and now that I know people exist out there who can help me figure out I really want to find someone!

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  87. You are such an inspiration!! Thank u so much sweet momma!! Xx

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  88. i adore. you. you ARE awesomeR!
    xoxox

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  89. you are a beauty. inside. and out. the best kind of beauty. asking isn't always easy. you did it. Risk paid off.
    thanks for inspiring me everyday.
    love you.
    m.

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  90. Go you good thing - this post just shows how much you've grown and changed, and it's fantastic! I've loved you posts on your fitness and training (even though I came here looking for all your DIY stuff!)

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  91. You are and always have been beautiful inside and out, you just didn't realize it! I'm so happy to hear that you have more self confidence to go with your new body. You rock it girl! Nothing is prettier than a modest, self confident woman.
    Congratulations, your hard work has definitely paid off!

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  92. Shelley! it has been nothing but fun to have a small part in your journey. I've been in awe as I have had the chance to watch you evolve into the freaking cool person you are. I love that you are even more beautiful on the inside and that you continue to inspire me as a person. I feel so lucky to have you as a true friend and I get all giddy anytime someone mistakes us for sisters. I wish!

    Love you to bits! XOXO,
    becki

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  93. awesome, awesome, and awesomer. You are beautiful insida and out, and while I love your DIY posts, I am excited to read these "self" posts.
    dominique

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  94. I love you Shelley! I wish I had a Becki to take me and teach/style me too! I am ALWAYS in skinnies, a black tank and kinos sandals. every stinkin day. :)

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  95. Your honesty is so refreshing and inspiring. You just helped me make the decision to do something I didn't think I had the courage to do. (Sorry for being vague!) Thanks for being YOU. :)

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  96. You rock that new look, Shelley! Thanks for the inspiration and the laughs. You make my day. :)

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  97. You look fantastic! I too am on a self transformation! Thank you for the inspiration!

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  98. Shout out from ARGENTINA, Im Melina and I've been following your posts for some time now, firs feedback though... You have realy inspired me to try to become a better me ("Be good, do good and become better" right? ;) ) So I wanted to say thank you!
    xoxo

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  99. Shelley girl, you lookin' AWESOME! and you rockin' that NEW YOU! I love the evolving transformation and of course all the pointers, as always:) Thank you for being a constant inspiration. xoxo

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  100. I am guessing Becki is local to you but how I would LOVE a stylist to get my wardrobe in order. I really hate my closet.
    You look amazing and have great style.

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  101. You are such a true inspiration! Every time I read your post on your new you I cry! You look amazing!!

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  102. You are truly an inspiration!!

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  103. Thanks for the tips and inspiration! You were beautiful before but with Becki's advice it was enhanced even more! Congratulations on your accomplishment.

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  104. You are beautiful and inspiring and completely adorable!! I look forward to all of your blog posts ... room transformations as well as personal!! Thanks for giving us such a happy place in internet-land!

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  105. Shelley, you look great!! What an inspiration. I always look at myself and just think I've gone to far into this fat body to ever go back, but you give me hope. You look great!! and you are SO brave for sharing your story with the world!!! I love your hair short. It's very flattering on you!! and when you said those words about feeling like a thin woman trapped in a big womans body I felt like you were reading my mind. I have felt like that for so long!!! I also have no idea what 'my style' really is. Right now it's whatever I can squeeze into that is comfortable... ie, stretchy pants and t-shirts. I hope that someday I can actually have a style.

    Thank you for sharing your journey!!

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  106. Love your style, and totally crushing on that apron in your one pic. Where is it from, or is there a pattern to make one? It is super cute and I'd love to find one like that.

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  107. i don't know if you have time to read all of the comments you get, but you look amazing! i'm so happy for you! i follow your blog, try to copy your stuff! lol! and have seen all your weight loss post! well done! you had a goal and worked hard to achieve it! just wanted to say great job!

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  108. I just came across you blog and I too am a very large beautiful gal like yourself! I am 35 lbs down from 270 and I have never felt better. You are a big insperation to me now!

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  109. You should be soooooo proud of your transformation!!! You look fantastic! You have inspired me to also get healthier and start exercising. Thanks for the motivation! XOXO

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  110. You look amazing! I have that same black ruffle shirt in your 2010 picture...Maurices, right? So...where do you get your clothes now? They are adorable!

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  111. girl you are just AWESOME!! you look amazing and I love your posts like this! I'm off to go catch up on the rest. you are so inspiring and I SO wish we lived closer so we could hang out!

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  112. shut.the.front.door. you look awesomer than awesome girl!! look at you go... beautiful! much love to you ♥

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  113. You area freaking DOLL big, little or somewhere in between! Simply lovely!!

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  114. I always felt like a much slimmer, stylish girl locked in a huge, limited, fat-girl body..... that is DEAD ON me! i think of myself as about 4 sizes smaller but then i look in the mirror and yikes and finding clothes in my size is horrible. i am too big for non plus and too small for most plus size options in the stores. your transformation is AMAZING

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  115. Thanks so much for being so honest and down to earth! No matter what size you are, you're TRULY GORGEOUS!

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  116. Thanks so much for being so honest and down to earth! No matter what size you are, you're TRULY GORGEOUS!

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  117. You look wonderful!!!!! Good for you! And by extention, good for your family too!

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  118. Amazing make over! You look great! Something that helped me through my transformation was Dressing Your Truth... it's pretty amazing! Now I feel more at peace with who I am inside and how I dress on the outside to show it off :D Great work, it is hard work right? Figuring things out! Way to stick to it!

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