Let me clear the air and say:
1. No, I'm NOT quitting the blog or blogging in general.
People have to breathe right? ... I have to blog! :)
2. I appreciate all the concern, but Cason and I are juuuust fine. Oh wait! We DID have a fight about something last week........ but I can't quite remember what it was about. :-P
Honestly though, there are no problems in paradise people. (hardy-har-har)
the ice castles in Midway Utah
3. As fun as moving sounds (not!) it ain't happening right this minute. Sure I'll admit we've toyed around with the idea lately, but we're also fine with where we are for now too, and like I mentioned before, I'm sort of just ready to sit back and relax in the cute house that we've worked so hard to create these past couple of years. Moving would require a lot of things falling perfectly into place, so if that ever happens, we'll let you know. ha!
Okay, whew! Did I get all of those accusations and wonderings answered and out of the way?
Here's the truth:
As far as relaxing goes, there isn't a second that I get time alone anymore, between my kiddos, new ventures I'm pursuing, and these two biting at my heels...
Yup... we got ANOTHER pup. (They're both Cavalier King Charles Spaniels)
Honestly, I don't know how it all happened, so if you want an explanation, you'll have to ask that puppy-lovin' husband of mine below. (ack! I swear, he's got the softest heart of any person I know.)
Anyhow, I'm happy to introduce you to Miss Brit! Well, her name is actually Britta, but we call her Miss Brit, or Baby Brit most of the time :)
Her favorite things to do?...
Play, cuddle, play, cuddle, cuddle, pee on my carpets (ugh), play and then cuddle some more.
She hasn't caught on to potty training NEARLY as quickly as Zaylee did, and it's about to put me over the edge. That, and she's kind of particular when she cuddles...
Do you see a theme here?
Yeahhh... so I don't know what it is, but she's obsessed with perching up on shoulders, behind necks or under them to get comfy (?) Crazy pup!
So, yes. I have been MIA, this I realize. And also yes, I have decided to step back from project blogging regularly for a little bit. But not because I'm quitting, fighting with Cason about home projects (ha!) or moving... mostly because of the reasons that I talked about here.
But then again, I have to be REALLY truthful and say, I did the SUPER "still" thing for a while... and I thought I was going to lose my mind! lol. (apparently there is such a thing as TOO much stillness for me, I guess).
After dropping everything, I quickly realized that I just wasn't built for having only day-to-day tasks on my plate and that was it- I wanted more! While it felt awesome to be free of a million obligations and all of the craziness blogging brought on for about a week, after that, I just went plain nuts! I know a very small handful of women who feel this way too, but I wonder if there are more of us and we just don't talk about it because it's not what typical stay at home Mom's are 'suppose' to feel like (?).
At the risk of being quite vulnerable, potentially, but NOT intentionally offending other women/mothers who DON'T feel this way, and sharing my much more personal thoughts (which I intend to do a lot more now around here), I wanted to include this small excerpt from a text thread my Mom and I had just a few days ago.
Before someone attacks...
YES, of COURSE - I LOVE being a Mom! It's the absolute BEST THING EVER! It brings so much joy, meaning and happiness into my life, that I get emotional even typing about it! So when I say "being a Mom isn't fulfilling enough for me" I don't mean that I'm not finding insane passion in loving my children, or in my job as a mom... I just mean that I have this crazy, huge OTHER part of me that burns hot and fierce to do MORE! To create, to take charge, to lead, inspire, motivate or change something and make a difference! and if you can't tell, I keep fighting that fire inside of me even though I KNOW it's never going to go completely out. (is this making any sense?)
It's like, I WANT to be the Mom that feels 100% content staying home with kids, and perfecting her "Mom" duties to their fullest... but when I try to do JUST that, something else inside of me sort of dwindles and (for the lack of a better word) dies.
I feel guilty a lot of the time for WANTING to do more, needing the rush I get from earning my own money or just working outside of being a Mom, because I know there are tons of Mom's out there who would rather be at home and not HAVE to work- this is why I hesitate to share my true feelings. But alas, it's how I feel, and if I'M feeling this way, then someone else out there must be able to relate... right?
So now that you know this about me, about 2 weeks into my little hiatus, I was craving something "to-do" again. Naturally I started dabbling into a home project here or a craft project there, but I just didn't feel passionate about it. It wasn't filling up my "creative cup" anymore, and I sort of felt lost. Like... if I didn't have something to share on the blog that was tangible and new, I just didn't want to share anything.
(shrug) Sounds kinda boo-hoo-ish, I know, but it's just how I felt.
I knew I could jump full-force into blogging again, like I had in the past, but I had a feeling that I'd end up right where I was before, and I'm just not the kind of person who likes to move backwards, plus, I've always loved to find something NEW to be excited about!
So, after finding myself wandering around my house with no direction; a paintbrush in one hand and a cell phone in the other, randomly bumping into things... (OKAY, OKAY, it's getting way too dramatic, but you get the drift)... I started doing something that I hadn't done in a while...
I opened myself up to creative, business-minded people and opportunities OUTSIDE of just my inbox.
I was SO amazed at the array of different adventures and prospects that have been basically right in front of me all along! - I'd just been so immersed in emails, deadlines and busy-work behind my computer, that I hadn't had a second to look up and see them. And now, as you may have already guessed (with my prolonged absence), I've decided to take a HUGE risk, and pursue one of those many opportunities that I saw being thrown my way!
I'm a little nervous, but a LOT excited and hopeful for all the new things I'm learning and doing. I can't wait to tell you more about it!!!
That being said, I WILL be posting, and hopefully more often than every 4 weeks (that was just pathetic). Believe it or not I STILL have lots to share and blab on about. ha!
To wrap things up... I just have to say, that I'm so grateful for all of you loyal, amazing readers who have been incredibly supportive of our crazy adventures for the past few years (whatever they may be!). Regardless of how much our day to day life changes or blogging evolves, our lives have and will continue to be enriched with all of the awesome people that we've had a chance to interact with throughout our 'blogging voyage'. Here's to another 4 years of random thoughts, occasional laughs, smattering of pretty pictures and sometimes pointless ramblings :)