2.11.2014

She Quit! Marriage Problems? They're Moving! ...

HOLY BANANAS! When you go from blogging regularly to not blogging at all, in a span of about 4 straight weeks, the emails and chatter get CA-RA-ZY! lol.

Let me clear the air and say:

1. No, I'm NOT quitting the blog or blogging in general.
People have to breathe right? ... I have to blog! :)

2. I appreciate all the concern, but Cason and I are juuuust fine. Oh wait! We DID have a fight about something last week........ but I can't quite remember what it was about. :-P
Honestly though, there are no problems in paradise people. (hardy-har-har)
the ice castles in Midway Utah

3. As fun as moving sounds (not!) it ain't happening right this minute. Sure I'll admit we've toyed around with the idea lately, but we're also fine with where we are for now too, and like I mentioned before, I'm sort of just ready to sit back and relax in the cute house that we've worked so hard to create these past couple of years. Moving would require a lot of things falling perfectly into place, so if that ever happens, we'll let you know. ha!

Okay, whew! Did I get all of those accusations and wonderings answered and out of the way?
Good!

Here's the truth:
As far as relaxing goes, there isn't a second that I get time alone anymore, between my kiddos, new ventures I'm pursuing, and these two biting at my heels...

Yup... we got ANOTHER pup. (They're both Cavalier King Charles Spaniels)
Honestly, I don't know how it all happened, so if you want an explanation, you'll have to ask that puppy-lovin' husband of mine below. (ack! I swear, he's got the softest heart of any person I know.) 

Anyhow, I'm happy to introduce you to Miss Brit! Well, her name is actually Britta, but we call her Miss Brit, or Baby Brit most of the time :)


Her favorite things to do?...
Play, cuddle, play, cuddle, cuddle, pee on my carpets (ugh), play and then cuddle some more.

She hasn't caught on to potty training NEARLY as quickly as Zaylee did, and it's about to put me over the edge. That, and she's kind of particular when she cuddles...

Do you see a theme here?
Yeahhh... so I don't know what it is, but she's obsessed with perching up on shoulders, behind necks or under them to get comfy (?) Crazy pup!

So, yes. I have been MIA, this I realize. And also yes, I have decided to step back from project blogging regularly for a little bit. But not because I'm quitting, fighting with Cason about home projects (ha!) or moving... mostly because of the reasons that I talked about here.
But then again, I have to be REALLY truthful and say, I did the SUPER "still" thing for a while... and I thought I was going to lose my mind! lol. (apparently there is such a thing as TOO much stillness for me, I guess).
After dropping everything, I quickly realized that I just wasn't built for having only day-to-day tasks on my plate and that was it- I wanted more! While it felt awesome to be free of a million obligations and all of the craziness blogging brought on for about a week, after that, I just went plain nuts! I know a very small handful of women who feel this way too, but I wonder if there are more of us and we just don't talk about it because it's not what typical stay at home Mom's are 'suppose' to feel like (?).

At the risk of being quite vulnerable, potentially, but NOT intentionally offending other women/mothers who DON'T feel this way, and sharing my much more personal thoughts (which I intend to do a lot more now around here), I wanted to include this small excerpt from a text thread my Mom and I had just a few days ago.

Before someone attacks...
YES, of COURSE - I LOVE being a Mom! It's the absolute BEST THING EVER! It brings so much joy, meaning and happiness into my life, that I get emotional even typing about it! So when I say "being a Mom isn't fulfilling enough for me" I don't mean that I'm not finding insane passion in loving my children, or in my job as a mom... I just mean that I have this crazy, huge OTHER part of me that burns hot and fierce to do MORE! To create, to take charge, to lead, inspire, motivate or change something and make a difference! and if you can't tell, I keep fighting that fire inside of me even though I KNOW it's never going to go completely out. (is this making any sense?) 

It's like, I WANT to be the Mom that feels 100% content staying home with kids, and perfecting her "Mom" duties to their fullest... but when I try to do JUST that, something else inside of me sort of dwindles and (for the lack of a better word) dies.
:(
I feel guilty a lot of the time for WANTING to do more, needing the rush I get from earning my own money or just working outside of being a Mom, because I know there are tons of Mom's out there who would rather be at home and not HAVE to work- this is why I hesitate to share my true feelings. But alas, it's how I feel, and if I'M feeling this way, then someone else out there must be able to relate... right?

So now that you know this about me, about 2 weeks into my little hiatus, I was craving something "to-do" again. Naturally I started dabbling into a home project here or a craft project there, but I just didn't feel passionate about it. It wasn't filling up my "creative cup" anymore, and I sort of felt lost. Like... if I didn't have something to share on the blog that was tangible and new, I just didn't want to share anything.
(shrug) Sounds kinda boo-hoo-ish, I know, but it's just how I felt.
I knew I could jump full-force into blogging again, like I had in the past, but I had a feeling that I'd end up right where I was before, and I'm just not the kind of person who likes to move backwards, plus, I've always loved to find something NEW to be excited about!

So, after finding myself wandering around my house with no direction; a paintbrush in one hand and a cell phone in the other, randomly bumping into things... (OKAY, OKAY, it's getting way too dramatic, but you get the drift)... I started doing something that I hadn't done in a while...
I opened myself up to creative, business-minded people and opportunities OUTSIDE of just my inbox.

LIKE WOAH!

I was SO amazed at the array of different adventures and prospects that have been basically right in front of me all along! - I'd just been so immersed in emails, deadlines and busy-work behind my computer, that I hadn't had a second to look up and see them. And now, as you may have already guessed (with my prolonged absence), I've decided to take a HUGE risk, and pursue one of those many opportunities that I saw being thrown my way!
I'm a little nervous, but a LOT excited and hopeful for all the new things I'm learning and doing. I can't wait to tell you more about it!!!

That being said, I WILL be posting, and hopefully more often than every 4 weeks (that was just pathetic). Believe it or not I STILL have lots to share and blab on about. ha!
To wrap things up... I just have to say, that I'm so grateful for all of you loyal, amazing readers who have been incredibly supportive of our crazy adventures for the past few years (whatever they may be!). Regardless of how much our day to day life changes or blogging evolves, our lives have and will continue to be enriched with all of the awesome people that we've had a chance to interact with throughout our 'blogging voyage'. Here's to another 4 years of random thoughts, occasional laughs, smattering of pretty pictures and sometimes pointless ramblings :)
CHEERS!

81 comments:

  1. The best gift as a mom you can give your girls is love. The close second is showing them that there's a giant world out there waiting for them to make a difference in! Way to go!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Totally makes sense to me! I'm lucky enough to work from home right now, and it works for us, but the looks I've gotten from everyone ranging from good friends to our pediatrician, like I must be intentionally neglecting my child. I even had a friend tell me that her newborn child "needed" every second of her attention - I didn't dare point out that if that were true, nobody would ever be capable of having more than one child! So, my child is still happy, healthy, smart and cute (not biased at all of course... ), I get to spend some time with him and some time doing something that makes me feel additionally fulfilled. I love the time I get with him, but I know that if my whole day was following him around, watching him play with his toys, and picking up any object that dared to get pulled out of place, I would go nuts! And yet part of me does want to be the mom that wants their day to consist of nothing more than those moments.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It is vulnerable to open your heart to the world, but I appreciate it and can relate. You are not alone Shelley! Glad to hear you are doing well- your pups are adorable!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I understand what you mean when you say you need more than motherhood and house keeping. I struggle with that as a SAHM. My need is for interaction with other people than the little ones in my life. Very sweet puppies! Good luck on your new endeavor.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Shelley, thanks for being so vulnerable. You are not alone, I definitely have the same feelings! I'm excited to know what your new adventures are and it was really great meeting you at BYBC - I had the adorable little baby girl after the blogger panel. Anyway, thanks for being awesome! :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. There's a difference between gratitude and complacency.

    Some people go their whole lives without learning that. The ones who are lucky enough to come to that realization, can learn to balance the two. And it sounds like you're well on your way to figuring that out. Cheers to pursuing new things, pushing new boundaries, and following your heart.

    In other news, the dogs are adorable.

    ReplyDelete
  7. So glad you are back and or doing fine. You are an amazing blogger, and I definitely look up to u in that regard. But whenever you need a break for you r ur family dont worry. We understand life is more important than blogging. And we will be here when u return (waiting with bated breath lol) smooches

    ReplyDelete
  8. This is great! I don't understand how sometimes people get down on moms, especially stay at homers who feel the urge to be more than just a mom. After all, most of lived on this planet for quite a few years before becoming a mom, and that doesn't just turn off when you have children — I firmly believe an identity outside of "mom" is important :-) so good for you! I also think it's cool you took some to yourself to kind of figure things out. An experiment of sorts! Looking forward to the new direction :-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank you for this post! I feel the same way! A few month ago I was a super depressed stay at home mom of two toddlers. I wasn't feeling fulfilled and then I felt bad because all I ever wated to be was a mom! Recently I have had a lot added to my plate, a new job from home and a more demanding calling in church and I feel so much more like myself! I love my boys to death but I am so glad to be needed else where, and to have a little time to just be me not mom for a minute. You are amazing! Thank you! Good luck in your new adventures and PLEASE keep blogging!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I think as women, one of the most important things for us to do is to fill up our creative cup so that we can be a better mother, wife, friend, daughter, etc! I think it was President Uchtdorf who talked about the importance of developing our creativity as women. Don't feel guilty in needing something a little more than just being a mom. Everyone is hardwired differently and that doesn't make you bad, it just means you are who you are! I love your blog and I love that you are being totally real. Keep doing what you're doing, you are inspiring!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I missed HOS, glad you're doing well. (ps>> Did you change your design/background? I can barely read the font on the quatrefoil print...)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Xoxo to you. You are amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  13. What a beautiful post. I totally understand what you are talking about. I LOVE being a mom.. but I love being a mom who does more than just focus on her children. I want to be a role model for them.. to show that what it is like to be brave, and try things..

    The balance is the hard part. I am always trying to walk the line between being engrossed in my children vs. being engrossed in other things. I think it isn't healthy to 100% focus on any ONE part of your life, but when you are able to give everyone what they need and still find time to do what you love, it can be so wonderful and fulfilling.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh! OH! I SO relate to all you said here! And yes, there are people around me too who disapprove.
    My son is soon 8 months (only) and I've been home since last May. In Finland you get financial support from the state for staying at home until the kid is 3yo. I have decided to stay home from work until summer 2015, mainly because the idea of taking a kid under two years old to kindergarten just doesn't seem right.
    But, already I'm feeling the need to do SOMETHING. Work from home, set up a small webshop of my own, I don't know what it could be, but I'm toying around with a couple of ideas. And to some, this is very bad. For me, I feel it's necessary.
    I love my son to DEATH and being a mother is the best thing that's happened to me, but still this is how I feel. My ultimate dream is to really combine the both by working at home. How I'm going to do that, I have NO IDEA. :D

    ReplyDelete
  15. So glad this was HONEST. Too many are afraid of being that. U feel how u feel ( own it). U are incredibly amazing and I love you even more now. Also, cute new addition to your beautiful family.

    ReplyDelete
  16. So glad this was HONEST. Too many are afraid of being that. U feel how u feel ( own it). U are incredibly amazing and I love you even more now. Also, cute new addition to your beautiful family.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm so excited for the new things coming to your blog and want to put it out there that I GET what you mean about motherhood. There are other parts of who you are that need attention to.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I feel so related to this post, I had to stop over organizating and decorating it was driving me nuts!
    I felt the house was never good enough, and I wasn't enjoying much, just task after task....
    I went back to work and I love Being a mom of three!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh my goodness your new puppy is adorable!! I'd give anything to have that sweet baby around my neck! I totally get what you are saying. My kids are grown and out of the house now so the "mothering job" is done. I cannot seem to find what fills my "cup" these days and have many days when I have felt worthless and depressed. Can't wait to see what opportunities have come your way....maybe they'll inspire me!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Wow. This is exactly how I feel! I have often felt the "you bring this on yourself" vibes from people around me, lol. I would not be me without that stress though (or that crazy-frantic look in my eye). Embrace it! I cannot wait to hear what's been going on. Welcome back :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. I think a lot of moms feel the way you do. I have two boys, almost 2 and almost 4 (and we just got a CKC puppy, too! She's a tri like your Brit.) Anyway, I feel like I'm a better mom when I'm busier, otherwise we all get stuck in a rut and go a little stir crazy! You need your outlets, and you still need to take care of yourself, as you well know! I was so excited to get an e-mail from HoS this morning, so just know we're all still out here, and I can't wait to see what you've got going.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Can I just say I totally feel the same way! I have a first grader and a new baby and a 3 year old and find it hard to go much right now besides be a mom. But, I really need to find something because I need a little more! In fact, I said that at a playgroup with ladies from church the other day and I'm pretty sure they thought I was crazy to feel that way. I felt like I was wrong to feel that. I'm so glad I'm not the only one!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Good for you! I am one of those people who feels more fulfilled when I am working. I worked full time after my son was born, then after my daughter was born, I quit my job and stayed home full time for 5 years until she started Kindergarten. Honestly, those were the hardest years for me. While, I felt blessed to be able to be home with my kiddos, at the same time, I felt trapped and mentally, just bored. I have always worked and I enjoy that. I only told a few select people that I honestly feel like a better Mom when I work. My kiddos have beeen in school full time for 2 years now and I've been working part time for the same amount of time. I work between bus schedules 4 days a week. Perfect!! I have time to be THERE when they are home and need me, but I also get to work because it's what I need. So, I can totally relate to where you are at. God made us all uniquely different. Each of us has different needs and passions. I think it makes us better Moms when we are doing what makes us happy - the typical saying is true "When Mom is happy, everyone is happy." Go for it and don't feel guilty about it. It's obvious by your blog that you adore your kids and husband. God bless!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Everything you said resonates with me! I've been a SAHM for the last 15+ years and absolutely love that I get to be here to see the kids off to school & when the kids get home from school and that I get to volunteer at their schools/go on field trips...it's an opportunity I feel really blessed to have had. The desire to DO more than that doesn't take away or diminish how amazing it is. I tackle renovations daily (we're in the middle of a major renovation that we are doing ourselves) & I get a serious sense of accomplishment from that. I thrive on that. It doesn't make me (or you!) any less of an awesome mom! After reading this post I know I have a wake up call in my (very near) future...our CKCS pup arrives on Friday! Got to rush & get a few more tasks finished because I have a feeling I won't be getting much done around here anytime soon! ;) Looking forward to hearing about your new venture!

    ReplyDelete
  25. You have written this post from standing inside me brain. The only difference is that you seem to have found the elusive "cure" that I haven't stumbled upon yet, despite my searching...CONGRATULATIONS!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. You are not the only one! It is sometimes hard to get motivated when you are 'only' a Mom. For most of my adult life I worked full-time, took care of my family, was a 4H leader, etc, etc. Right now I am not working full-time and it feels like most of my time is filled with busy work (or feel like I am spinning my wheels). Not sure what the answer is, but glad you found something that excited you and can't wait to read about it.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Everyone needs a break, once in a while, definitely nothing wrong with that. Good luck with the move and the new pup! She's a cutie!

    ReplyDelete
  28. I understand everything you are saying! We women need to stick together and support each other in being whatever kind of wife and mother we personally need to be! You are awesome and I cannot wait to hear about your new opportunity!!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. I know exactly how you feel. I've been a stay at home mom for 12 years now, and I've always felt the same way. Except that I've never had a blog or projects to outlet to. I find that sometimes I fill my time with aimless wandering at target, I volunteer at the kids' schools, do projects on my home...but still...there's that little something screaming do something "special". Leave your mark. Find a creative outlet to make your own money. Soooomething. Annnnnything. ;) So, thank you for sharing your heart. I appreciated it. I still haven't found my niche, but I feel a little more okay about wanting to find it.

    ReplyDelete
  30. O.M.G....seriously, you are NOT alone! I've been a SAHM for 12 years...and I cannot tell you how often I have felt the exact. same. thing. It's like the "idea" of being completely fulfilled as a SAHM...without any other endeavors on my plate...would be..."should be"...enough. I had it all planned out...kids, house and home where going to be my focus and that would be enough. Nope...never was. And boy, did I fight that. Sometimes I still find myself fighting it. But there are SO many other facets to ME and I think it's about time I listen to that little voice that always seems to be whispering...time after time...after time...and truly embrace all that HE has planned for me. Thank you SO very much for this post. It's nice knowing someone out there feels the same way. Your words helped crystalize all that's been swirling in my head as of late.
    Jen

    ReplyDelete
  31. Good for you for taking the time to be still. You have listened to your heart and I applaud you for that. I've missed your blog but am excited to read about your new adventures (and adorable puppies). Just pop in to say hi or post a photo! :) I'm from Canada's capital (Ottawa, Ontario) and it does my heart good to follow your family adventures. Welcome back. Darlene.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I completely "get" you, Shelley. I have to thank you for taking that break and sharing your feelings on the outcome, so I can stop thinking I need to do the same. You just made it okay for me to LOVE working, LOVE accomplishing and having the best of both worlds. Love you, girl.

    ReplyDelete
  33. We all thrive on different things my dear! If people could sit back and not judge each other they would realize that all these different talents, abilities and drives is what makes the world go 'round! Good luck in your future things, and I do enjoy your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Congratulations on your new directions & possibilities. And you're not alone in the need to do something more. I scaled way back on my blog commitments over the holidays (I'd been experiencing the same feelings you had) and while it was great not having my virtual door beat down, and I had time to without the pressure of blog to-dos, I found myself wasting it. I love my kids & home life too, but you can't magically turn into a different person either. Having a balance of motivators to keep you going, but not being overwhelmed seems to be the key. Good luck & looking forward to hearing more about your new adventure!

    ReplyDelete
  35. I totally get it! When I had my first daughter my husband wanted me to be a stay at home Mom. So that is what I did. Not to long after he was begging me to just go back to work. I work for me! I love my kids and being Mom but yes I needed something more. My trade off is that I only went back to work four days a week and it seems to work great for our family! If Mom isn't happy no one is...

    Thanks for blogging the "real" stuff and good luck on your new adventure. Got get it!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Oh dear that pup is just ADORABLE! I'm a huge dog lover and I wish my Husband would let me have more! I currently have 2 dogs. Such a doll!

    Also - take the break or time you need! Enjoy!

    ReplyDelete
  37. I completely get it, I've been a stay at home for almost 13 years and I always have and always will have something else. I have way too many ideas in my head to not do any of them!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Thank you for sharing this. I have never posted but felt the need to share I am the same way and you are not alone. I wish I loved staying at home, managing a house, and fulfilling those duties but I don't and feel guilt about it some times. I also know I am a better mom, wife, and friend because I work in an area that brings me passion and fulfillment. Sure I wish there was more time to flex between being at home a little more and at work a little less but I know if I was to up and leave my job (which I love) I too would be wandering around a house with a paint brush bumping into things and feeling lost.

    As women, all of us need and want all of our roles, to fall into place in different ways. I highly love and respect my stay-at-home mom friends because they seriously have the hardest job in the world! They never leave work! So as I feel guilty for wanting to work, I just remember we all have to do things in ways that make us the best people we can be and not be judging of how others do it.

    Thank you for sharing your honest feelings. As women I wish we would do this more and celebrate and support how each of us balance all of life rather than competing or holding unrealistic expectations.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I understand the feeling of wanting more. Right now I am immersed in the baby years (soon to be 6 kids 9 and under) but when that phase has passed I look forward to setting the example of being there for my kids as well as showing them I am a human being with interests and passions. Not just a Mom.

    ReplyDelete
  40. LOL - I love your blog - very honest...

    and I not sure if I am the only one.. but I had a damn hard time trying to read the post against the beautiful back ground- I had to highlight it to actually see it!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Bravo! Thank you for talking about this. I work full time and have close friends that are stay at home moms. They often ask me why I work when we would be just fine without the second income. I try to explain it to them but I don't think they really get it. Hugs to you and your family and we are all so excited for you and your new path! Good luck and we can't wait to hear all about it!

    ReplyDelete
  42. I'm intrigued! I can't wait to hear more. Hmmmm.... Thanks for the update. Your puppies are adorable too by the way!

    ReplyDelete
  43. I was wondering where you've been! So glad you're back! Your blog is one of my favs!!

    ReplyDelete
  44. I love this post. Thanks for being so honest and best of luck with your new endeavor. Can't wait to hear more about it. I related to a lot of what you say.....I think I am a BETTER momma for going outside of the house to find things to fill my cup! No reason to not celebrate and embrace our differences. No mom-guilt here! :)

    ReplyDelete
  45. Shelley, you rock! :) I enjoy reading your thoughts and process for finding a balance that's right for you and your family. It's just time for a change--and change is difficult--even when it's a good/necessary thing. It just means you're learning and continuing to grow. Personally, I go NUTS when that's not happening for me. Being a mom is wonderful, but I'm a better mom when I take care of myself and meet my need to create and make a difference. No one is judging you. Just keep going. I'm SO excited to see your new ventures.

    ReplyDelete
  46. So good to "hear" from you again! Excited for your new venture, whatever it is, because we have to find what nurtures us, and in this world it won't always be the same thing, so change is good! Best of luck to you!

    ReplyDelete
  47. Shelley, I know EXACTLY how you feel! After my first was born, we were trying really hard to be a family with mom at home. After 10 weeks of leave after he was born (I was also on modified bed rest for 4 months - that was it's own special hell), I was more than ready to go back to work. I was so tired of doing the same things week after week, that my creative juice dried up and was replaced by a horrendous bout of depression (which I've struggled with since high school). Once I went back to work, my meds started working again, I felt calmer inside, and I ended up being a better mom.

    2 more boys later, and I still fight the 'I could stay home, so maybe I should stay home, but I love my job and the satisfaction it brings, etc. etc. ad nauseum. It's not about the money or getting away from the kids. It's completely about me feeling useful and important in a way not connected to my family.

    While I know just how important it is for my family to be happy and healthy, they won't be happy or healthy if I'm not. And right now part of my happy (even if it does make me want to rip my hair out and scream sometimes) is my job and being able to contribute to something so much bigger than myself.

    I know there are plenty of people out there who will call me, and others like me, selfish. I don't understand all that. We all need time to be ourselves, nurture our souls and take care of ourselves. It doesn't matter if you are mom, dad, step or other.

    I, for one, am glad to hear you are doing what is best for YOU, then what is best for your family!

    ReplyDelete
  48. AAAAHHHHH!!! I'm so glad you're back. I've been waiting (not patiently) for you to return. Can't wait to hear about your new and exciting project :)

    ReplyDelete
  49. Oh my gosh! Your back! This has been my guilty little pleasure looking into your blog and following along as you take on new projects. I kept clicking on my book-marked HOS tab and nothing was coming up. I wondered a few times if there was something wrong with my computer. Ha!

    I SOOO know what you are feeling. I am such an involved mom and love, love, love my kids, but without the challenge of new things, beyond the day to day triumphs and fails with my kids, it feel like there is part of me that is being wasted. Cheers to you for be honest with yourself and everyone else! How empowering.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Good to know everything is well and good with you. I'd miss your blog if it disappeared.
    Your heartbeats. The pup loves heartbeats. My sister's pup sleeps across her throat...Good thing she's tiny...the pup...not my sister. Don't tell her I said that. ;) eek.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Adorable puppy! Mine used to snuggle up in my neck when she was little, and I believe that's why she did it… she was so little and wanted to feel safe and not like she was going to be sat or rolled over on. I'm not a mom, so maybe I can't comment on the rest of your post, but the way I see it, do what you gotta do. The rest of your family isn't going to be happy if you're not happy, right? So there shouldn't be any guilt. Live your life, don't listen to what other people do in theirs and feel like you need to do the same. We're all different and one persons needs won't fulfill another's.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Your post reminded me so much of one of my own posted earlier this week! www.mahanamomma.blogspot.com. I absolutely know how you feel!! Here's to chasing new dreams and to 'becoming'! I wish you the best!

    ReplyDelete
  53. Shelley, Bless you for being honest about how you feel! You are not alone in those sentiments and I am so happy you had the courage to speak the truth! Praying for you and that sweet little family of yours, Sister!

    ReplyDelete
  54. True! Being a parent is a huge responsibility full of rewards, but I don't know if any of us are built to be baby-burping-cleaning-machines. Every person has interests and every parent then, surely. I hope we can all support each other as full, well-rounded individuals of different interests and gifts. Congratulations on finding your creative passion again.

    ReplyDelete
  55. I'm so happy to see a new post from you! I check every day over my lunch hour to see what you're up to. I totally understand wanting to be/do more than being the awesome mom I'm sure you are. You are teaching your girls that they can many things in life. I'm looking forward to more blog posts and finding out what you're new big adventure is!

    ReplyDelete
  56. What a nice surprise when I checked your blog today and noticed that you had posted again. I have missed reading about all of your wonderful projects. I just assumed you were carrying on with your goal of being STILL this year. I am delighted to hear that everything is well with you. I am especially anxious to learn the details of your NEW venture. Best of luck to you!

    ReplyDelete
  57. Best of luck with your new adventures!!!!! I know you will be great at whatever it is! I just have to say, that I have never laughed harder while reading a blog than I did while reading your post about the "Hot and Ready" pizzas at Little Caesars! "Sometimes they're hot and sometimes they're not!" has gotten a lot of mileage at our house since I read that. Every commercial, every time we drive by one... Oh, the hilarity!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  58. I just found your blog! Shelley, you are gorgeous and your family is lovely, too! I love your blog and you are stylish x 1000

    ReplyDelete
  59. You are amazing! Congrats on your new adventures and your pups are too cute! xo

    ReplyDelete
  60. You definitely struck a chord with people! I think as moms were darned if we do and darned if we don't....there will always be others who judge us. I'm on year 5 of being home and I go through similar feelings. During one particular bad spell I told my husband how I felt- I said he gets evaluated at work, gets praise, gets a raise and bonus, etc etc . Stay-at-homers don't get that outward validation. Yes I suppose the kisses, the I love yous, the healthy and happy kids should be enough but for me it wasn't. Because when the house is clean and fridge is stocked no one says boo....but when it's messy or empty then watch out!! That was an eye opener for him- to see that I needed validation more. Plus to realize that my passion for decorating and house stuff was not silly!
    Anyway good luck with whatever your next adventure is!

    ReplyDelete
  61. This is one of the most honest things I've read in awhile and I must say...HOW REFRESHING! It can be hard to love others and expect them to love us in return if we are having a hard time completely loving ourselves. What a great lesson to teach your children that you truly can 'have it all'.

    www.nodaknest.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  62. I can totally relate to the feelings you expressed here. My problem is I haven't figured out WHAT I want to do to keep me focused and excited yet. Still soul searching to figure out what can fill my "creative cup". Thanks for sharing with us what you've been up to =)

    Mimi
    http://thisdomesticateddiva.com

    ReplyDelete
  63. I am so tired of the judging women tend to do. Some women are called to stay at home, some women are called to work outside the home...do what works for your family and support the moms around you and their decisions. What is right for one isn't right for another. So rock on Shelley...rock on.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Ooooh ~ I can't wait to here what you're up to now!! ;)

    Cute cute pics of the pups, your daughters and you.

    ReplyDelete
  65. I'm not a mother, but when I am, I know I'll be like you. I know in my heart 'being the best mom I can be' won't be enough, and that working and mothering will likely me feel like I'm never the best mom either, but knowing that full time mothering isn't the solution. So we'll see how things go on that lucky day I'm a mother.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Thank you for this. I am a mom who works as well, and for the EXACT same reasons you put in here. I had my career for 10 years before I had kids, and when I had kids and honestly thought about leaving it, something inside of me died too. There are days I wish I could be that woman who is mom and wife, needing nothing more to keep my satisfied and fulfilled, but I don't, and I'm not that woman. I live in the same culture you do where my life is hard to do. I feel like I have to justify why I still work when I have two lovely littles at home. I am also so crazy busy, stressed, and overwhelmed all the time, but I'm SO HAPPY with every single aspect of my life. There is absolutely no way I would want to give up anything I am doing, and I'm OK with that. I've also had to come to the conclusion that I have to be OK with the fact that others don't think I should be doing what I'm doing. Anyway. . . I've had lots of conversations about this recently with other people. Thanks for this. (P.S. Your darling husband was my student my first year teaching--something I don't completely want to admit because I sucked so much back then.)

    ReplyDelete
  67. I have to say I find your drive and need to be busy amazing, I am one of those people you talked about that are able to just sit and do nothing, and it's no fun!! But I'm not sure how to get up and go and be amazing like you. Too bad we can't share a little bit of our personalities with each other.

    ReplyDelete
  68. I think energy profiling would be a great blessing to you.http://myenergyprofile.com sounds like you are a Type 3 to me :) and it's important to live your truth and also dress your truth to reflect on the outside what's really on the inside. You'll find peace in this profiling Carol Tuttle has. It has for me. I hope you take the free course to start

    ReplyDelete
  69. No hate here girl! I think you just explained my feelings to me :)I constantly think about what I should be doing for my little one (having school time every day, a craft project daily, etc)...btw she's 2 not school age or anything. Somehow, I can NEVER get my thoughts and actions to correspond and I can't stay on a routine when I'm constantly thinking about what I should be doing. Anywho, I've been feeling, for a while now, that I'm not using my "fruits" that God has provided me with. I have desires and callings that I know that I could be great at, but somehow never thought I could do both. Recently though I took a step towards using that gift and I'm beyond excited to see what it brings. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your new found journies!

    ReplyDelete
  70. I knew you were going to get a 2nd one the minute you got the first one! Why because we have two cavaliers and they ware awesome!!! Congrats and enjoy all! That's what matters.

    ReplyDelete
  71. I think we can feel fulfilled as a mother (and wife) and still have other interests also. Especially "creative" people. One time I felt the NEED to paint. I didn't have any canvas in my studio, but I really NEEDED to paint something that I had in my head...so I took a cabinet door off and used that as my canvas. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do, sista!

    ReplyDelete
  72. I'm not a mom, so I can't say this from personal experience, but I think it's totally natural to want to pursue a passion outside of your children. Honestly, hearing you admit this is a little encouraging to me. One of the reasons I'm not sure that I even want to have kids is that I've seen so many moms (including my own) who don't seem to have an identity outside of their maternal role, and frankly I find that a little bit scary. So thanks for not being like that! Besides, no one expects dads to be completely satisfied by only being a parent, so why should we expect that from moms?

    P.S. Your puppies are adorable!

    ReplyDelete
  73. Girl, you just put into words what I'm pretty sure thousands of other women are thinking, but are too afraid to say it. Sometimes it's just not enough, but you are still amazing and wonderful and beautiful, as is every mother, whether they are stay at home or working or going to school. Super excited to hear about you next adventure (please don't take too long to tell us what it is). Also just and FYI, I'm going to come steal your puppies. I don't care who you are...they are adorable and I just want to snuggle right up with them. Oh and "Sham-wows" work great for those carpet accidents, trust me I know. They soak everything right up and then you can clean the spot better.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Girl, you just put into words what i'm pretty sure thousands of other women are thinking, but are too afraid to say it, so kudos to you. There is no selfishness or judgement in saying I want to do and be more. All moms are amazing whether they are stay at home or working, so keep it up. Also just an FYI, i'm going to come steal your puppies. I don't care who you are, they are adorable and I just want to snuggle them. Oh and "Sham-wows" work great for those little accidents, trust me I know. They soak everything up so well and you are then able to clean the spot better.

    ReplyDelete
  75. I love this post, and still check back to see if you've updated, love your blog. I think it's important to still be a woman, an individual and a mommy/wife at the same time. I thought when I had my first baby that my life as an individual was over! I was supposed to just be a mommy and be selfless and completely into my kids all the time after that. I soon realized that if I didn't take care of myself and my needs and wants once in awhile, I wasn't a good mommy either. I think taking those creative breaks for ourselves, (whatever they may be) helps us to recharge and have the energy to be better and also set better examples for our children-that we are continuing to learn and grow and enjoy life! That is all. Good for you!

    ReplyDelete
  76. Loved this post...especially after a week of struggle in my life with the balance of my mommy life and my work life. Thank you for your honesty!

    ReplyDelete
  77. How could you shave your cavaliers? Their beauty is in their scruffy feet and wonderfully soft hair! I know their grooming takes a bit of time but oh so worth it. We joke that our Mowgli's DNA will be with us forever - that hair weaves into everything and will be around long after he passes!

    ReplyDelete
  78. Yes, yes!!!!!! I totally understand your feelings! I'm a mom of 5 boys and although it was my dream to be a mom to a big family, to me it was just a given in my life. I love raising them and being with them but I crave so much outside of domestic life. I tell my hubby all the time that I feel like I am two seperate halfs melted into one. The "mom/wife" side and the creative (photographer/decorator) side. And they compete for my time and attention and energy. And I always feel like I can't win either side without hurting the other. It is tough being a momma and not losing yourself to the chaos of life!

    ReplyDelete
  79. I stay at home full time, but I totally get you here. We all joke that I have ADHD (which i probably do, ha!) but I always have to have a project going or something that makes me fulfilled for ME. Taking care of little people is so rewarding, yet so taxing and it's easy to lose YOURSELF in the mix. I actually look forward to getting back into the work force once theyre all (5) in school...the thought of contributing to our income is thrilling to me! So, thank you for this post. I think a lot more can relate than you would think..:)

    ReplyDelete
  80. obsessed with your dogs. are they big shedders?!? I have a maltipoo and am looking to get her a sibling. not sure breed yet. where are your gold rings from (last picture)?!?

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for taking the time to leave your thoughts and comments. We truly love and appreciate each one!

ShareThis