When the Guilt Sets In How Do YOU Deal?

This morning was tough. I felt like everything was working against me. 

As I pulled up at the gym after FINALLY dropping the girls off to school... 20 minutes late I might add... It clicked. I need to go home and write. Write while these feelings are raw and at the front of my mind. So here it goes.

So I'm home now. All day.
I have no outside job, event or responsibility other than my husband, my kids, the upkeep of my house, and the blog... of course, to worry about.
There's not too much to tell. I was just ready to be home again.

This transition (for my personality) has been a bit tougher than I thought it would be.
I'm trying to not let ALL of my newfound free time be completely filled with the everyday monotony of picking up the house, making dinner, running errands and getting back into a workout routine (blehhh).
But then when I get close to feeling like I've got a bunch of that stuff under control... I start dreaming about ALL of the millions of house projects I want to do, and completely overwhelm myself.
It feels like being a crazed artist, standing in a studio with an infinite amount of amazing brushes and paint, but no canvas in site. That's the only good way for me to explain it.

So what does this have to do with this morning?
Well, everything.

As a Mom and wife that has ALWAYS brought in an income, this is the first time that I haven't.

Yes, blogging brings in a bit here and there, but nothing really consistently... unless I have a ba-jillion page views... which I definitely do NOT. And unless I slave away here posting about something AMAZING, NEW, EXCITING and PIN-WORTHY everyday... those ba-jillions of page views won't come, and either will the extra bit of money along with it. (shrug)
At this point in my blogging journey, I'm tired.
I'm just sort of done blogging for everyone else. I'm ready to get back to more of my ramblings and everyday life moments, with home projects and an occasional DIY project or recipe mixed in. I miss that kind of blogging.
So, long story short... I blog when I want and how I want now. Sometimes it's once a day, sometimes it's once a month. I refuse to let money or status be the reason I share my creativity or life. I want to blog because I'm excited to... not because I have to.

All of that being said, being home, being happy, finding quiet moments of stillness and really reconnecting with what grounds me everyday, makes me feel GUILTY.
I cried to Cason about this for about an hour last night.

I feel guilty about not bringing in money.
I feel guilty about "just" being home and loving it!
I feel guilty that my husband has to go to work everyday and now has to carry the sole income for our family. (which by the way, he somehow is totally fine with, and feels no stress at all... wouldn't that kind of personality be nice!?)

All of this guilt put on me ONLY by myself, sort of ruins my joy everyday.


I'm not speaking for ALL women here, but I know I'm in a pool with a few more than just me and a couple of my close friends who will all agree, that sometimes the guilt of being happy will creep in to rear it's ugly head from time to time.

Guilt is an emotional killer!
Unnecessary guilt about what I should, could or would do better, is something that I'm realizing keeps me from being 100% in the moment a lot of the time.

Am I a good enough wife?
Am I a good enough Mom?
Am I a good enough blogger, friend, counselor at church, etc...?

And this my lovelies, is where being home and alone, and with my thoughts for TOO long really starts to mess with me.

Do I sound completely crazy yet?
Good. Because sometimes I feel like it. And if you ever feel the same way... I'm here to tell you, you're not alone. I'm right there with you.

This morning was tough. I feel like everything was working against me. 

Because of my crying rant last night to Cason, I stayed up later than I should of, which made it a lot harder to get up this morning and get going.

5 seconds before we walk out the door Emberly starts whining about how school lunch is going to be gross today.
At first I feel like saying... "Sucks for you, you should of made a lunch for yourself while you were down here goofing off"... but then the GUILT kicks in, and I happily say "If everyone helps, we can whip together sandwiches and a few snacks really fast!"

In the middle of a ham, cheese and condiments tornado, Aubrielle jumps up on the counter to "help" and flips a knife full of mayo on the ground sending white globby bits all over the floor and wall.

I stay calm; firmly ask her to get her "BUTT OFF THE COUNTER!" and bark orders at my two dogs to stop licking the mayo up while I frantically top off sandwiches and then rinse out a dirty dishrag to clean up the rest of the mess.

Everyone has lunches in hand. All is well in the world.
Then I hear a loud CRASH.

Emberly has accidentally bumped an entire box full of mason jars onto the garage floor, sending about a ka-jillion shards of tiny pieces of glass all over the place.

I freaked.

I screamed.

I cried.

And then I got a broom.

My kids all go silent and just start walking around in a panic when I do this.
(does that last sentence make it sound like I've behaved like this more than once? well good, because I DEFINITELY have.)

I immediately feel GUILTY for losing my temper over something that was an accident.

We are now 10 minutes late.

I sweep up everything I can in a hurry so I can back my car out without slicing my tire on broken mason jar glass.
Emberly is red in the face and sweetly trying to hold the dust pan for me as I continue to cry.

I look at her and feel GUILTY. (surprise!)

I call the dogs BACK in the house, because they have now run outside again.

I shut the garage door. Take a deep breath, and then Emberly let's me know she forgot her backpack inside.

I lean forward and rest my forehead on the steering wheel in complete defeat.
We are now 16 minutes late.

We finally got to school at 8:35. Twenty minutes after the bell rings.
During our 4 minute car ride to school I apologize about yelling and losing my tempter, tell the girls I love them and that Mommy is just having a rough morning.
Lovingly they all say "it's okay" and I hear a little "sorry for spilling those jars" come from Emberly in the back.

I cry a little more.
Some more GUILT kicks in.

How is it that kids can bring you SO much happiness, and yet so much anger, guilt and confusion all at the same time?

Looking back at what happened less than an hour ago... NOW makes me feel like a complete crazy person!
It was just jars. Nobody got hurt, and I could care LESS about those stupid things.
It was "spilled milk" and I cried over it! (???)

Being a wife and mom is the most emotionally taxing journey I think we as women will EVER take. And I've decided that the GUILT is only there when we welcome it in.
It's something that WE decide to feel, let in, and rule our day.

I love this quote.
It puts things into perspective for me and all of my perfectly imperfect ways of thinking.

I'm ready to shake off the guilt of whatever I think I should do or be, and start feeling JOY in what I am NOW.

Everyone loses it from time to time right? Nobody has got it all figured out.
Kids forgive you, husbands still love you, and the days keep moving on.

It's time to start forgiving ourselves for our shortcomings and faults. To stop feeling guilty, and to start living in each moment like it's all that matters!

I'm SO ready.
Are you?

Pep talk over. Time to go to the gym. bleeehhhhh


  1. Great Post! In a few months I will find myself at home for the first time since my 2 month maternity leave ended 6 years ago. It will be the first time I will not bring in income (unless you count unemployment when I eventually get laid off). Your post gives me something to think about and ponder. . . Like you, I'll have to figure out my new "normal" - if that makes sense.

  2. Bless your heart!!! We moms have ALL been where you were this morning and we have ALL lost our tempers and yelled at our precious babies : ( We are not perfect, but I can tell you that you did the best thing you could have . . . . . . . you apologized to your precious kiddos!!! Our son is 28 yrs old now and we have an incredible relationship -- we always held him accountable, but we also held ourselves accountable!!! When we had "one of those days" when life just reached up and slapped you across the face, we ALWAYS apologized to him and asked him for his forgiveness and told him how much we loved him. Al this is a great example of Christ loving us unconditionally too : ) Hold your head up, squeeze your babies, and forgive yourself. You and your precious family are A W E S O M E!!! God Bless . . . . .
    Brenda Cofer

  3. Thank you so much for this...and that quote is about letting the situation be what it is NOT what I think it should be...SPOT ON!!! I am keeping that close to heart. Mom guilt is hard.

  4. I needed to read this today. I have 11 year old twin girls and feel like a terrible mom right now. I have been dealing with chronic neurological illness for the last three years and most days I'm too dizzy to do much of anything with them and I can no longer drive, so fun days out aren't possible either. I have loads of mom guilt and feel like everyone but me has their sh*t together:)
    Thanks for being so real!!!!! It's one of the things I like best about your blog.

  5. oh my gosh i hear ya! i totally needed to read this today, so thank you for taking the time to write it out!

  6. I'm looking forward to seeing your "rambling" personal posts and house projects again. I can't speak for everyone else but for me, those are the posts that made me love your blog so much. The real junk we all deal with. And I love to see your house projects. I have lots I need/want to do with our house and I'm really inspired by your style & ideas. We're currently transforming our coat closet similarly to what you did in your old house with the bench and coat hooks. Hope your day gets better after a morning disaster! :-)

  7. I don't have kids, dogs, or a house to relate to you, but I can still relate.
    You are right, we can feel guilty and get mad over a lot of things and I appreciate you sharing this as a reminder to us all that we don't have to feel that way.
    On a side note, you deciding to leave the company you were working for and changing what you blog about is awesome. It's awesome because it makes me feel normal lol. I like to think of my self as creative too. I like to learn about something, do it, become successful, and move on. It's not about quiting, It's about learning and becoming a better person as a whole. You can check that off your list, now it's time to work on something else. I love you and your family. Whatever you decide to do with your blog, I'll still be a reader!

  8. Hang in there Shelley. Yes, we all have had those days. I have had definitely MORE than my share in this journey of raising kids. That guilt, that is a nasty little thing that gets most of us, if not all of us. I hope the rest of your day goes better. Hugs..

  9. We can all relate to days like this, I have had way too many of them! What matters is that we try to do it better the next time around. The transition to staying at home is a tough one, I know I struggled with it. I have been a reader for a few years now and I love how you keep it real. It is nice to know things aren't as perfect as is seems in your beautiful photos, I also love to see what you come up with for new projects and decor. Basically your pretty awesome!

  10. Your day and reaction actually gave me a chuckle. As a nearly 67 year old empty-nester, I remember all that guilt. Your girls are fine. You showed that you are human and that even adults can say they are sorry for inappropriate actions & words. As for your husband, I totally get why he is fine being the only breadwinner in the family. God built him that way, men WANT to care for their family. They WANT their spouse to be happy in that care. Admire him for it. You are now the family facilitator not the wage earner. It is an important role especially as your children are still young and at home. You are a great person, mother and wife. It's just that for a while your role is different, trust me it will change. You will have many roles in your life, you know this because look how many you've had so far. Go make a nice dinner and give your husband the biggest welcome home kiss AT THE DOOR. Breathe and enjoy life as it is right now. Good luck!

  11. Awe. Hugs to you. Yes, I have most definitely felt the guilt. And I too have lost my temper more than I care to admit. But, thankfully forgiveness is a real thing. For myself, my children and my spouse. Bask in the forgiveness for a moment and move on. We all do the best we can and your children will not remember what happened but will remember that mommy said she was sorry because that is sometimes hard to do.
    As for the guilt, yep, I too feel guilty for being a SAHM with no kids at home all day. But then I remind myself that what I am providing my family is priceless. Being greeted at the door by your mom welcoming you in is the best feeling ever. And I'm so happy I get to offer that to my children at this point in my life. I may start working again in the future so I'm relishing this time now. You are providing opportunity and freedom to your family, not to mention you are probably less stressed. They can do activities after school, or go to a park to play. When I worked, that wasn't an option. I'm also always volunteering at their schools. They love seeing me there. I have a closeness with them now that I truly didn't have when I was working. So take the time to care for yourself, and when the guilt sets in, remind yourself there is no room for guilt here, only thankfulness.

    1. I totally agree! All of my children are in school but I still stay home FOR them. I may be weird but I have never felt guilty about it. I love that you said a SAHM provides opportunity for the family...back in August of 2013, my youngest went to 1st grade and I decided to start volunteering at Rising Star Outreach (a Non-Profit that serves leprosy colonies in India)...well, long story short--we just returned home from living and serving in India for the last year. An amazing, life-changing experience that never would have happened if I had not had the freedom to follow my own heart and volunteer my time.

      And I totally agree about being greeted by your Mom at the door...my mom always did that for me (often accompanied by the smell of fresh bread) and I want to be there for my kids as well!

  12. Hang in there. I've been feeling the same as you are for some time. Here's a website that I follow and it has really helped to remind me of what is important in life and to let go of all the hussle and bussle....the busy stuff that really isn't important. http://www.handsfreemama.com/

  13. Sitting here crying at my desk, as this happens to this single momma more than I care to admit. I love this and can relate so much. <3

  14. I needed this today. I feel this exact way. The guilt of not bringing in an income, haven't for 6 years, my husband never complains. All that gets done wouldn't get done by me alone if I worked. But, now that all kids are in school, I feel that guilt with a lot of down time during the day. HE doesn't make me feel that way, I do! My day starts when the first girl gets home, with HW, getting dinner prepped, driving and staying at dance, dinner, cleanup and perhaps more homework. I cry over "spilt milk" too much. I'm sorry you had such a bad morning. Hopefully the afternoon will be better.

  15. This spoke right to my heart! Fighting guilt is such a struggle for me sometimes. I'm a stay at home mom to a sweet but rambunctious little one year old tornado. Mommy guilt, wife guilt, friend guilt... It's all such a happiness killer. Thank you for posting this today and sharing your story and encouragement! I really needed this today.

  16. Thank you for this! I think one of the hardest things is that we'll feel guilt no matter what we do. Right now I work from home - but I work full time. With 2 young kids who are home all the time. I love being here with them, I'm too selfish to give that up - but at the same time, work is constantly calling on me, so a lot of the time my kids are left to play by themselves, which ends up being a lot of TV watching. Then I feel guilty. I'm here but I'm not playing with them much. I can't always interact with them at the time or in the way they want me to. At the end of the day I'm burned out from trying to do both my paying job and my mom job at once, which leaves me with no energy and patience to take the time I finally have and play with my kids. But if I wasn't home, I'd be sad about missing their whole days, I'd miss them, and I'd feel guilty for leaving them. And if I wasn't working, I'd feel guilty for not providing any income, and honestly probably a little bored, since I'm used to working. So I try to take everything as it is (that quote was a great reminder!). Right now I'm lucky to work from home, so I try to take whatever free time I have during the day and spend some of it with my kids. I try to make sure that when I tell them "just a minute" that it really is just a minute. Someday I hope my husband's job will take off and I can work part time, or maybe not at all, and I'll try to enjoy that too and remember that I put in a lot of work during all these years of pulling double duty.

  17. I have a two year old, a one month old, a husband who works crazy amount of hours (graveyards) and goes to school during the day, two dogs, a house, a yard, and insane amounts of laundry to do. I am in the middle of an intense school program (fortunately I have summer semester off). I have cried multiple times over the last 5 weeks at everything I have had to do, all the yelling I have done at crying kids, and I have even cried because I am only able to squeeze in a shower every 3 days or so. Reading blogs at three in the morning has been my escape and I have read yours for years. I have always had this visualization how perfect those bloggers lives must be, and how immaculate I'm sure their houses are on a daily basis. Your post today, not only lightened my guilty heart, but made me so incredibly happy to realize that you too are a real person, with a real life, with kids who make messes, and get into trouble. But most of all you too have dogs that do cleanup duty when food is involved. Thank you for allowing your blogging to go back to what it used to be and choosing to be real and down to earth. I can't wait to see what future posts come along.

  18. Totally loved this! I get it and just know you are not alone. I also struggle with the thought of taking a break from blogging and just doing nothing when I get home from work instead of worrying about that deadline I need to get done. The struggle is real.

  19. Was this my life or yours you were talking about?? I am not glad that you are struggling with guilt, or lifes transitions, but I am glad to know I am not the only one either! Thank you for being willing to share. I have nothing profound to say, just sending hugs your way

  20. Oh man, that hits so close to home for me. Thanks for sharing!

  21. I just wanted to scoop you up and give you a hug reading this. We've all been there, we've all had a sh*tty morning and lost our temper over a little something of nothing. A mother's guilt sneaks up on you when you're just starting to feel that you've made the best choice - you'll feel guilty for working as you're spending less time with the kids or you'll feel guilty for NOT working cos you aren't bringing in the money. My best advice to you? Chin up buttercup, give those girls and your gorgeous husband a hug and draw strength from them. Jx

  22. I am so happy to know I am not alone!! Thanks for keeping it real. I hope your day gets better! :)

  23. This is my "I'm older than you (51) and my kids are grown (25 and 23) pep talk to you".

    Everything you described is normal.

    Jars don't matter but in the moment they can be very important.

    I've cussed at my boys before. Does that make you feel better? :)

    Your kids won't remember your outburst and if they do they will laugh about the time mom yelled and cried. My boys laugh about the time I screamed and slammed the door. Then opened it and slammed it again. Over and over.

    We are raised as women to be independent and educated. When we aren't earning and living up to what someone told us ... we feel guilty. Move on! There's not one thing more important than your home and family.

    Let the dogs lick up the mayonnaise! That's one less thing for you to do. :)

    Blog for fun and do a project when you feel like it.

    It will all be ok. Amen.

  24. 1. I enjoy reading your blog, the way you blog now. Be you!
    2. Mom guilt is the worst. When I was pregnant with my first I had a skin issue. I didn't want to do anything about it but my husband was insistent. Finally he told me it could hurt the baby, which TOTALLY freaked me out and sent me into a tailspin. I got it checked out (it didn't hurt the baby) and that was my first experience with it. Been fighng it ever since.
    3. I think it is so admirable that you listened to your heart about needing to be home. Good for you. Guilt can rear its head if you work or don't, unfortunately, as I'm sure you know. Don't doubt your feelings
    4. Work the bad feelings out at the gym. 😊

  25. Shelley - thank you for taking the time and having the courage to post this today. I too feel guilty as a wife and a daughter. My 92 year old dad has lived with us for almost 2 years and in the last 6 months his health has failed. I had to take a leave of absence from work (guilt all around) and I'm not sure I want to go back. More guilt. I often feel guilty as I care for him because I feel as though I am not compassionate enough. I feel guilty because sometimes I just get grossed out at things I have to do for him and I feel guilty for taking a nap now and then. I do try to take care of myself and if it weren't for the rocking chair on my deck, I don't know what I would do. I'll try to remember your thoughts and suggestions as I work my way through this. Good luck with this new chapter of your life! (I commented earlier but it didn't show up. Sorry if this is a duplicate.)

  26. I love your posts like this and can't wait to read more. I've enjoyed reading your blog for the past 4 years and I'm not a huge DIYer, so I'm not here for that. Keep it up and sorry about mom guilt, it just sucks :)

  27. Thanks for this post! Keep on keeping on - us moms always do! :)

    We may never do everything right, but we care and we try and try again... I hate guilt!

  28. Thanks for going back to basics and sharing so much of you. I'm having the exact same morning. But with one cold who doesn't go to school. So I'm still grumpy and still feeling the guilt.

    Thanks for being so candid.

  29. I just had a conversation with a girlfriend the other day about how we, as mothers (me, soon to be), wives and women put so much pressure on ourselves. I think that is where the guilt stems from. I personally carry a weight of responsibility because I am always thinking, overthinking, planning, and stressing over every aspect of life. Where as my husband concerns himself with work and that's about it. Sometimes I wish I could simplify my mind a bit more but at the same time, we (women) get things done. We get a lot done. And sometimes we have emotional meltdowns because carrying all of the extra means we break down once in while. Sounds like venting your raw emotions was exactly what you needed to pick yourself up and keep moving forward.

  30. Thanks for being real. I love these types of posts. I hope the rest of your day is smooth sailing!! :)

  31. Girl, I TOTALLY hear you on this entire post! Being a mother is HARD. I don't care if you're the most patient, understanding, creative, hard working woman in the world...motherhood is the greatest blessing and most trying calling there is. Hang in there! I've been a full time mom, without any income to report, for about two years, and it's the toughest job I've ever had (more so than working at a law firm, being a private detective's assistant, or working holidays in retail - ha!). I'm a few years older than you with a six year old, two year old, and one on the way. I feel tired (and old) and sometimes wish I was in a different stage in life. But I try to remind myself of all the beautiful moments young children create in my life, and try...TRY to not feel guilty for not getting more done around the house every day, for sometimes getting overwhelmed and losing my temper, for not always living up to the standards that I've set for myself. It's a real struggle, but I know I'm not alone! Thank you for sharing such a candid part of your day with all of us readers!

  32. I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciated your blog post today. I am a stay at home mom and I have those guilty feeling on a daily basis these days. I sometimes struggle with the daily monotonous tasks of keeping a home and raising my 16 and 9 year old sons and I put too much pressure on myself to make everything perfect ALL THE TIME! Yet I also realize that this is impossible because things are not always perfect. My husband has to remind me of this all the time. I loved the quotes you posted and will go forward today with new goals and a smile on my face! Thank you for being "real" !

  33. I adore this. I can totally relate. I lose it way too often over the small stuff and then think, "Was that even worth it? NO!" I work from home as a health coach and although I only work a few hours a week and am still here physically, I feel that pressure {totally only comes from myself as well as the mister seriously just wants me to be happy} to contribute financially, too, and then I am not at my best mentally or as mommy to my three boys. My mind is always in two places-where I want to be and where I feel I need to be & they are switching places all the time, too. I love helping people, I'm passionate about health and really do love my "job," and the awesome income it provides our family, but I often want to just be a mom, too. Then I know I'd have crazy days where that drove me crazy, too! It's such a mental thing, isn't it? I think we are all trying our best and we are all too too hard on ourselves. You are doing a great job raising great girls in a beautiful home and family with great values. Keep on keeping on, mama!

  34. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! This is SO me! Thanks for using your bad morning to give a pep talk to the other guilty feeling moms out there! It was so needed!

  35. Amen sista! I'm so ready to move on! Here's to happy days, slowing down, and thankfulness!

  36. thank you, thank you, thank you!
    Not only do we as women do this to ourselves constantly but, we stay quiet about it and don't allow others to help us when sometimes, a simple hug will make us feel better. Thank you SO much for this. I needed this so badly. Thank you for your vulnerability, I totally admire it!

  37. Thank you for sharing this! I was in tears by the end because Ive been there and know what your feeling. I think most moms can relate and its so nice for someone to be willing to share the good, bad and the ugly. Too many times people paint these perfect mom pictures on social media which I think only increases our mom guilt because we feel like everyone else has it together while we're failing. I wish more moms would open up like this so we all know we're not alone. Love the quote about letting a situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be. I know I need that reminder constantly. Thank you for being so open and just know you are not alone either!

  38. i had this conversation with my mom today, and then i was late to pick up my girls!!
    i know that i feel much the same way. trying to be everything to everyone, and do all that i possibly can all the time. it's exhausting, it's unrealistic, it's unhealthy. i usually don't realize how bad it is until it's BAD. i have two phrases that trade places in my head.. #1: you should really do this... (fill in the blank) then the guilt comes. then #2 usually pops in after: be gentle with yourself.
    i know that if my mind isn't occupied with something positive and uplifting, the guilt sets in. my choice lately is mormon channel. i love the app! love the programs, love the way i feel.
    you are one of the only bloggers i still follow. i have always loved what you do. i love how happy you are. keep on being happy!!

  39. The most important thing to remember is that you said you were sorry and how you explained it to your girls. You showed them that's it's okay to loose it and that's okay. You still love them and they love you. And just for the record, I might have said a bad word when someone said there back pack was in the house, hah. Or I might have laughed a lot. You will always have days like this and you just move on. Hugs

  40. Ugh this is me at the moment! I've stopped working to study full time and I am feeling the guilt big time. You are not along. We all have those days were the smallest of things can build up to feel heavy and stop you from wanting to try. We can be so swept up in achieving goals or bettering ourselves that we lose sight of who we really are. Blogging can definitely do that. Glad I'm not the only one going on this journey alone at the moment. I think we should share more not so perfect stories to help us all realise we don't have to keep striving for that perfect mother, wife, friend award.

  41. Thank you for returning to blogging about everyday life and her and there projects. This is what pulled me into the whole creative world and was so intriguing to me. I have stopped reading so many blogs of very "famous" creatives because they turned to impersonal "selling" blogs. Nothing interesting.at.all.

    As a parent that is now a new empty-nester, let me give you some advice: these are the most important years to be a SAHM. Even more important than when children are smaller. You will lose your temper. But you will not be so involved in other priorities (in an outside work force) - that you will forget to talk about these incidences later. Also, you will not be soooo tired from over-committing that things at home are not pleasurable anymore.

    I always wanted to be a SAHM, to enjoy being at home, and making it a HOME...but it didn't happen (that's a whole other story).

    I think women were born specifically to enjoy and train our children, bring love and care into the home, and serve our families. All members of the families have roles to serve one another, just in different ways. Which is why your sweet husband does not consider it a burden to "serve" his family by providing for them. That allows him to be respected by his family, which is important to a man. And you not being pulled in so many directions, allows your husband to be less stressed and overall very happy.

    Do NOT let society make you think you should be out there - living life to the "FULLEST" as they put it. You are creating a full life everyday! You will not be left-behind...you are not missing out....you are working!

    My best advice to you is ENJOY this season. Enjoy your HOME. Enjoy that you can make it LOVELY. Enjoy your CHILDREN. Enjoy your TIME. Enjoy your BLOG; all these things together inspires the rest of us in the process and makes us all a big supportive network family.

    Sorry this is so long - but this is near and dear to my heart - and as a teacher I can tell you how much it means to children that their parents are not stressed out because of work overload. Thank you for your honesty, it is very endearing.

  42. You go girl! I love your stance on taking your blog back.

  43. I can use a post like this much more than an impersonal diy while plugging the latest book.(although I understand making a living). Problem is...you really SHOULD be paid really well for it as it is so helpful!!!! LOL Life is strange isn't it? You reminded me of what is important and that I am important too. I needed that. Thank you! You go girl!!!

  44. This mother guilt is crazy!! I have it everyday. Our lives have changed drastically in the last few years due to a marriage breakup and even though I am the one here with the kids I feel guilty that they miss out on having two parents at home, I feel guilty that I am sad sometimes and can't be the the fun mum all the time, I even feel guilty that I am studying full time (so that I can build a new life for my family)!! I tell myself everyday that I am good enough and the perfect mum for my kids (and they tell me that aswell) but this mothering gig is hard, no matter what the situation. Its nice (is that the right thing to say hehe) to know that I am not the only mum to feel this way. xxx

  45. Love this post! Thanks for sharing.

  46. Oh my word! You are speaking what so many of us women feel so many times every day! I am going through the emotional upheaval of deciding if I should quit my job (have been same place now for almost 13 years) outside the house or keep it up. I've been going back and forth for at least a year now and I think i have had at least 4 or 5 ulcers throughout this past year because of the anxiety I have caused myself. :( I tell myself that the job I do is part of my identity, so many other moms do it AND take care of their kids AND their home AND their husbands so why shouldn't I be able to (with a smile on my face & no qualms)!? It makes me feel so guilty when I think about just stopping completely, but I know if I just let go of it and be done, the weight lifted would be tremendous! And I would probably be a more pleasant wife to be around and a totally fun mom (with a few exceptions, I'm sure)! Thanks so much for your honesty! I was going to get up and run this morning (trying to get back into doing early mornings (it really is so peaceful out and beautiful when I'm up and outside before a whole gaggle of others are up) but I decided to catch up on blog reading instead. I'm glad I did! Running will hav to happen this afternoon :) I love reading your blog and always feel uplifted or inspired after. Keep it up and know you are not the only momma and wifey that goes through these emotional upheavals!

  47. I'm just sitting here nodding my head. Mom guilt sucks. We put so much pressure on ourselves that it's no wonder we feel so guilty when something goes "wrong". Super sucky.
    And I love reading your ramblings and every day happenings. Shouldn't that be what blogging is about? God bless you today mama and hugs from me to you.

  48. Yeah! I am very happy you will be posting what you want- those are the blog posts that strike a chord with me. The real life ones-like today. I stopped bringing in an income 13 years ago and have been home ever since. It will take some adjusting, but someone else was right about men--they were made to work. You will all find your groove and it will be awesome, but it can take a bit to get there. Hugs!

  49. Whoohoo!!!! Yippie! I was thrilled to read your post and realizeed oh thank goodness....I'm not the only one who has ever had a meltdown with the kids. Sometimes I feel so alone in this world and wonder if I'm the only working mom who ever does this but nooooo....I'm not alone. Thank you for sharing.

  50. being a Mom is the hardest job on the planet. give yourself a break. you'e human! every mom has those days. you are loved and valued, smart and creative. let this go. Forgive yourself. I'm sure your girls have. you have a new normal and you will eventually adjust. you do indeed make a positive difference in so many lives. your kids know you love them

  51. Once again you bring tears to my eyes because I'm so there! That happiness quote just caught me on my IG feed the other day, because I'm there. I've lost it with my kiddos ALOT, there is just so much we put on ourselves to be perfect. You are AMAZING! I'm so glad I got to meet you at SNAP. Lots of the words from those encouraging women (Whippy & Heidi -most definitely) still are resonating in my head today. I have the same take on blogging. I feel pressure. I just want it to bring in some money for retirement when I get there. To buy the groceries every now and then. I don't want it to control me, but yet you feel like it does to grow. It's such a crazy world. Then I think, I'm 10 yrs out till retirement. Will blogging even be around then? One thing I do know is that my kids and hubby will be!

    Shannon @ Bohemian Junktion

  52. Thanks for sharing your post. It reminds us all that we're real. We're not robots that live and breath on calculated actions. Heck, ten years from now you wont even remember that she broke the mason jars, nor will anyone give a darn that they were a little late to school this morning. I love your blog and I hope you continue sharing your projects and style with us. Maybe you just need some time to regroup. ?????? Enjoy your Memorial Day weekend with the family!

  53. Awesome post. We all have these days/times. Thanks for being so honest with us readers. :-) Here's hoping today is better.

  54. I cried just reading this! It feels like me every single day!

  55. When my daughter does something wrong, I want her to know it does not diminish her worth. Once she has resolved the problem and repented I say, "Let's do better next time." She nods, and we move on. If I mess up, I feel terrible guilt and emotionally beat myself up pretty bad. When I lose my temper and apologize to my daughter, she has started saying back, "It's okay, Mommy. You can do better next time." She is right. We are going to mess up as mothers, wives, and women, but there will always be a next time for us to change and grow from. This post is what I needed today.

  56. Love your honesty and we all have those days. Putting it in writing does help though process it and helps make you think - they are only the little things...chin up and smile the day can only get better!! :)

  57. Hi Shelley, I have followed your blog for a while and yours is one of those that I immediately go to when a new post is up. I just love your writing style. I loved this post and I can so relate. I have never had the chance to stay home and would love to.
    I think you need to embrace your new normal with all that comes with it. The most wonderful thing is that your spouse is on board, the only one working against you is you, in your head. Trust me, I get it, I operate in a very similar way.
    Give yourself the chance to experience being a mommy, a wife, a blogger all over again without the hectic life of having the 8-5 routine.
    Can't wait to read more of your journey.

  58. I've missed your blog! Are you not doing GroopDealz anymore? I'm glad you'll be back to your regular (content) posting. The blog world has changed so much in the past 5 years. With 2 kids now, I also had to let my blog quietly go and it makes me so sad because I miss blogging about my life and projects and parties and vacations. =T

  59. I love how you share exactly what I am feeling! Are we twins!?! LOL! ;) Thank you for this awesome post. <3

  60. I can't say I ever feel guilt for staying home and not bringing in any money (even though we are still paying off my grad school loan). My husband works long hours and travels. So if I worked, my kids wouldn't get to be in the awesome activities they are in, because no one would be around to take them. No one would be around to go to middle school track or cross country meets, either. We wouldn't be having a healthy, home cooked meal every night. And projects wouldn't get done. I wouldn't know the kids teachers because I wouldn't be able to volunteer at school or be on the PTA board. So I work as the head of the house. In my husband's eyes and mine, that's worth more than the 6 figures I could bring in.

    And hang in there, mama. Errrrryone loses their shit

  61. I LOVED that!!! I've had many a "mason Jar" MOMents as of late....Thanks for sharing and letting us know we aren't alone.

  62. Seriously needed this today. In fact I've needed this for a month! 4 months shy of 1 year out from a divorce I filed for, my daughter is doing her best to keep it together as she switches home and I feel the guilt from filing, getting away from the toxicity, finding happiness in everyday, and finding a partner who supports me 195% - I'm left wondering why I deserve to have a great second chance at life...and the guilt creeps in and tears me down while my daughter watches. Ugh, it's like the worlds biggest ball of whine twine. I just keep wrapping another layer and other layer and it has become to start feeling like a wet wool blanket I carry around every stinking day. Grrrrrrr. Thanks for showing me that I'm not alone and that I'm not the black sheep of the mom world, that others share my same season.

  63. Thanks for sharing this and letting us know that we are not alone! You are a great mom and I adore you! XOXO

  64. I honestly felt like I was reading a story about myself! Thank you for sharing :-)

  65. I could have written this post myself. It's nice to know I'm not alone. Thank you for sharing.

  66. I somehow feel like we should be best friends! Ha! I almost ran up to you at Macey's to give you a big hug! Thanks for this post. It's raw and real... love it girl.

  67. Bless your heart, girl! I feel the guilt on a daily basis. I often question If I'm a bad mom or greedy for working full- time when I really don't have to. When my girls cry because they miss me getting them off the bus instead of a neighbor. Oh, and don't get me started on crazy mornings. Thank you for this... I really needed to read this today. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this. :)


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